5:19 PM

January Self-Reflection

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2 weeks of final exams and three weeks of semester break conclude my January.  I hadn't done pretty much in January but I reflect a lot of what I've done. 

MY SEMESTER 5

My final result is out today anddd I didn't make dean's list this semester. And, I am still far away from it though. I tell you my honest feeling is that I am disappointed. Really. Cause I know I can do better than this. I took 9 subjects with 21 credits and for every single subject, I wrote my personal reflections in my diary. I wrote how do I feel when I attempted my final, my carry marks, where things go wrong for each subject. Alhamdulillah, thought that I failed my modelling subject, I managed to get A, thought that I can perform in subject Biochemistry and Medicinal Plant, I only got B+. Though I didn't attend my co-curricular festival event, I got A+ thanks to my mom for sponsoring our small event (I need to buy her something). 

Still, Alhamdulillah, All praises are for Allah. Would have not been you guided me, I would had lost. How can my heart thank you so much.

MY LOST SOUL

It's been a year since I mufaraqah. My mutabaah amal routine messed up. In a year, I've been struggling a lot to stick back on my old routine. It is hard. It really is. I had a hard time to wake up early for tahajjud, to fast every Monday and Thursday, to perform dhuha yada yada. But, a few days before my result is out, I tried really hard to attain khusyu' in my solat. Not perfect, but it is getting better and better. Remember Allah more and for everything we achieved today, we say Alhamdillah, all the praise goes to Allah.

Our iman goes up and down. It is bad enough our iman went down but one year at the same point using this excuse is worse. Which is why I need a planner to track my ibadah routine. So, let's get it ain!

And hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not become divided. (3:103)

BEING JUDGEMENTAL

Honestly, I am a judgemental person. Which is why I hesitate a lot to start up my blog again. Because I am afraid people to judge me like how I did.  

It is our nature to become judgemental. we look down on others as if we are so much better. Instead of being judgmental, we understand them. Everyone has their own backstory. So do us, as much as we want people to understand us, we put ourselves in their shoes. Why are they acting like this? What circumstances that might have led to the person acting like they do? As we understand them, we can start to accept them for who they are, without trying to change them.

As we stop being judgemental of people, people won't stop being judgemental toward us. That's the reality. But as we stop thinking negative of people, we stop to be afraid to do anything because of people which lead to free our mind. =D


Footnote: My next semester starts next week, and still havent finished my book to read which I listed in my last few post my target in this sem break is to finish my book. *Will finish it within this week. Promise!

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