ainsoofiyah

The books I love are usually the ones I find relatable, and my list of favorite authors is made up of those who make me feel as though they can read my mind. Obsessed with reading through Substack, often finding myself nodding in agreement with every paragraph. The details. The over-explanations. The science behind every theory and argument makes my mind go, Oh, no wonder why. 

New knowledge unlocked. 

I’m currently reading Beartown by Fredrik Backman, and as I’ve said before, he is one of my favorite writers. So many of his quotes resonate with me. Usually, I just place colorful tabs on the pages instead of writing them down in my Hobonichi tracker. I know some phrases trigger my thoughts, but oh, no pen with me at the moment, so I let them slide instead of writing them down or sticking sticky notes on them. Just more colorful tabs. Tabs. Stick. 

And yet, for someone who consumes so much, I’ve come to realize how difficult it is for me to articulate what I’ve actually learned. Whenever I’m asked to explain my thoughts, my mind goes blank. How do I explain this? I know it inside, but I’m struggling to let the ideas out, especially verbally. 

The Israel-Gaza conflict, Iran-USA tensions. I struggle to respond. When others confidently spread misinformation, I feel triggered inside: how can they not know this? Yet my tongue feels tied. Most of all, I’m afraid I might be the one spreading incorrect information, even though my intentions are right and pure. Because intention doesn’t justify being wrong.

In moments when people share their concerns with me, words fail me. All that comes out is: “It must’ve been hard for you. I understand you. Sabar ya.” It feels as though my brain stops processing what the right thing to say is.

That’s when I started noticing a pattern. 

Even though I consume a lot of media, I still have a hard time articulating my own thoughts. I know when I agree or disagree with something, but I don’t always know how to explain the how and why. 

I read quite a few books in a month. I know when a book is a good book, but I sometimes forget what makes it good and what the actual point of the book was. I read two to three Substack articles in a day, then forget about them by the very next week. 

Maybe the issue isn’t that I’m not learning enough. Maybe I’m consuming too much. 

Too much information. Too much knowledge. Shorts after shorts. Checking my phone while eating, watching YouTube, or even during a long, slow movie. Somewhere along the way, I think I’ve been spoiling my own dopamine balance. 

I do have thoughts that counter some of the arguments I read, but I often let them slide away instead of double-checking them. Perhaps I should start putting sticky notes in my books from now on. 

So, I’ve started doing something different: writing things down. What I learn, why I agree or disagree, and the lessons I’m applying from every piece of media I consume. 

Because one thing I truly love about learning and consuming media is this: my thoughts do not exist in a vacuum. 

I do not need to agree with everything I read. I can filter it and make my own judgments. It is a synthesis of everything I’ve consumed, a blend of what my parents taught me growing up, with my religious beliefs as the core and foundation of my personal values. I get to choose what to apply and what does not align with my values, while still appreciating it as useful knowledge. Hardships, new experiences, and meeting new people may sometimes change my perspective. And I learn along the way. 

And so, my personal blog will become the medium for these reflections: a brain dump, something messy and colorful from a blank canvas to develop and create, a digital garden where I can seed and grow my thoughts from every book I read, every film I watch, and every Substack article I love — I’m so obsessed with Substack that uninstalling Instagram, Threads, and Twitter, and living only with Substack and Pinterest, might just be my end goal. 

And I truly believe there is always something to learn from every piece of media we encounter, no matter how bad it is, because at the very least, we learn what a bad piece looks like. This new series is going to be like the “12 things per month” project I did during the pandemic era, but this time less about personal moments and more about personal reflections. 

The new series is going to be called my personal Slow Digest. But let’s see how consistent I can be. 

It’s going to be a slow reading journey, but that’s exactly the goal.

Finally, after postponing this post for so long, I forced myself to sit down in front of my PC and carefully select the best books out of the 48 I read in 2025. 

2025 is the first year I didn’t hit my reading target since I got back into reading four years ago. I learned that as much as I wanted to achieve my reading goal this year, it had started to become counterproductive. Reading slowly turned into a numbers game. I could have sprinted through December and finished the two books I brought along during my long flight hours. But I stopped and asked myself, what’s the point of hitting the goal if I didn’t get to read them deliciously? 

So for 2026, I’m reducing my reading target. I want to read slowly, intentionally, and without the pressure of chasing numbers. 

2025 might also be the year I followed BookTok trends less. I bought fewer books and focused on finishing what’s already in my TBR cart. Watching my unread pile grow gave me a headache. I felt irresponsible owning so many books without reading them, and even more irresponsible for continuously adding to them for no real reason. 

I couldn’t narrow it down to just five for my top 10 percent, so I ended up adding two more. So here are the seven books I carefully curated from the 48 books I read last year.  

THE SIMPLE SEERAH

This book has been on my wishlist for a long time. Sometimes you just feel the need to revisit the sirah of Prophet Muhammad and his companions. Every time I return to these stories, there is always a new detail to learn, even if I have heard them a thousand times before. 

The storytelling is engaging and easy to digest. That is why I love it. It is easy to follow, and each chapter ends with lessons and iktibar that can be applied to daily life. 

I find myself reaching for this book when life feels heavy. In difficult moments, there is a strong urge to return to the seerah and reflect on how Prophet Muhammad handled hardships, then reflect on my own life. Isn’t that the ultimate purpose of Allah choosing a prophet among humankind, so that we may learn, reflect, and apply those lessons in our daily lives? 

I truly, truly love this book for how it provokes self-reflection at the end of chapter. I am planning to continue with the next series and am currently looking for the rest of the trilogy. 

IMPERIALISME INTELEKTUAL

Another powerful work by Syed Hussein Alatas. I’m glad the salesman at Bibliobooth recommended this book to me during KLAB last year, because it did not catch my eye at first. 

Although it is thin, it is intellectually heavy and not something you can finish in one sitting. It requires time to read, sit with, and properly digest his arguments. 

Through this book, Syed Hussein Alatas exposes the impact of colonization in Malaysia. Western powers did not only colonize our resources, but also shaped our intellectual framework. As a result, we were conditioned to look up to Western civilization as superior. 

As a teaser, he defines imperialism through several characteristics: 

1. Exploitation and control by the conquering power over the people. 
2. The people are treated as subjects under a guidance system designed by the colonizer, organized according to the colonizer’s objectives. 
3. The people are expected to conform to the colonizer’s lifestyle, organization, and rules. 
4. The people play secondary roles within the structure of power. 
5. Imperialism is rationalized under the pretext of modernization and the “civilizing mission.” 
6. The country ends up being governed by individuals of limited capability. 

Can you see how this extends into the intellectual sphere as well? Intrigued? I highly encourage you to read it yourself. 

It is truly worth reading for every Malaysian citizen. Another powerful work by him is Intellectuals in Developing Societies. It is equally empowering and essential. I would recommend both to every Malaysian. 

If you follow my Instagram, you’ll know how many times I’ve talked about this book. Elif Shafak has always been one of my favorite writers, but this novel brought her to another level for me. It has become my favorite among all her works. 

There Is a River in the Sky follows four characters, all connected by a single drop of water. Each has a story of their own. There is King Ashurbanipal of Mesopotamia, a powerful and ruthless ruler; Arthur, a boy born in the sewer who rises beyond his circumstances with remarkable intelligence; and Narin, a Yazidi girl who becomes a victim of terrorism during a time of conflict. Eventually, the narrative reaches a woman in 2025 whose life is falling apart, leading her to impulsively move into a houseboat in an attempt to pause and escape as everything around her crumbles. 

The story made me reflect on how small we are as human beings, yet how deeply interconnected we are without even realizing it. Shafak’s writing has always resonated with me in the way she weaves history, emotion, and philosophy together. Once again, she did not disappoint. 

Nineteen Eighty-Four is a dystopian novel written in 1949, yet it feels unsettlingly relevant to the world we live in today. It portrays how those in power manipulate, control, and gaslight citizens for their own advantage. It is disturbing, but at the same time, uncomfortably relatable in our current era. 

The story follows Winston Smith as he quietly attempts to free himself from the government’s oppressive control. Along the way, he begins a forbidden relationship with Julia. I won’t give any spoilers, but the plot completely blew my mind, and its central message still lingers with me to this day. 

Definitely worth reading. 

Laut Bercerita is an Indonesian novel published in 2017 that has gained renewed attention due to recent political issues in Indonesia. 

For context, in 2025, protests erupted over reports that some members of parliament were receiving salaries of not less than 100 million rupiah (around 23k MYR) per month, while many citizens lived on far lower wages. One protest incident even involved an online taxi driver being run over by the police, highlighting the bold and unaccountable actions of authorities. 

The novel is set during the Suharto regime and portrays the fear and enforced silence of citizens under authoritarian rule. I was recommended this book by my Indonesian friend. At first, the pace felt slow, but the patience is rewarded by a powerful message at the end. It shows how citizens’ voices were silenced and highlights the importance of intellectuals in raising awareness and advocating for people’s rights. The novel also captures the emotional weight carried by families and victims during the kidnapping tragedy of 1998. The story lingers long after you finish reading. 

A film adaptation is expected to be released this year, and I’m looking forward to watching it. 

A coming-of-age story about Elena Greco and her best friend Lila Cerullo, growing up in a small neighborhood in Naples, Italy. Both struggle to escape poverty while navigating friendship, family, womanhood, love, and intellectual ambition. The story feels raw and realistic. Though the many family names can be confusing at first, the dynamics of the neighborhood become fascinating once you settle into the rhythm of the narrative. Elena is sometimes criticized as a flawed friend for constantly comparing herself to Lila, but you can’t fully hate her because you understand her insecurities and her point of view. I definitely need to continue the rest of the series.

My 2025 yearly recap should have gone up earlier this month, but my laptop suddenly started acting up, making it impossible for me to draft anything. As soon as I got my new notebook and transferred all my documents from my old laptop, I immediately started working on this post. I hope I’m not too late for my yearly recap. 

Yearly recaps remain one of my favourite things to do. They give me the space to reflect on the past year, revisit what worked and what didn’t, and reset my intentions for the year ahead. 

To sum it up, 2025 was a year of experimenting with new things while maintaining the habits I loved from 2024. Some goals were checked off, while others remained unfulfilled and will be carried forward into 2026, insyaAllah. 

This year, I attended my horse riding classes consistently once a week. Compared to last year, when I only rode once or twice a month, I can clearly see my improvement. I also checked off a bucket list item by going on an outride with my stablemates. However, the ride was honestly quite unsatisfying, as I shared in my outride post. At the time, my cantering was still unstable, and I joined the outride mainly to learn how to canter outside the arena. Now that my canter feels more stable, at least in my own opinion, I hope to go on another outride next year for a more satisfying experience. 

Very unexpectedly, I joined a dressage competition this year. I never thought I would, as my skills are still at a very beginner level and far from competitive. I didn’t win, but it was a valuable first experience, and I’m glad I pushed myself to try instead of backing out, even though part of me wanted to. It was a small win, and I shared that experience in a separate post. 

In 2026, I’m looking forward to learning more about horse grooming and hopefully going on another outride. 

For the first time in four years since I started tracking my reading on Goodreads, I didn’t fully complete my reading goal. I read 49 books, which was very close to 50, and I’m okay with that. There’s always a first time for everything, including not hitting a Goodreads goal. 

In 2025, I bought fewer books, as my goal was to reduce my TBR pile rather than buying every viral new release. I also prioritised locally published books over international ones. One of the highlights of my reading year was discovering the works of Syed Hussein Al-Attas. I enjoy reading his political perspectives, which are very new to me, and I look forward to exploring more of his work. I will also share my favourite reads of 2025 in the next post, so stay tuned ;)  

Reading remains one of my favourite ways to unwind, as it provides a healthy dopamine release without relying entirely on gadgets or social media. However, in trying too hard to hit my yearly reading goal, I realised that I sometimes neglected other priorities. Because of that, I plan to reduce my reading target in 2026 so I can focus better on other goals without abandoning my reading habit altogether. I still love books and want to keep reading, but focusing too much on Goodreads numbers started to feel counterproductive for me. 

This year, out of curiosity, I tried several new sports that I had listed on my 2025 bucket list, and I’m grateful to have friends who were willing to teach me as a beginner. I learned tennis, took a swimming trial class, tried Pilates once, did kickboxing for four consecutive weeks during my birthday month, earned a basic rock-climbing certificate, and started going to the gym, which I’m genuinely proud of. I also hiked more in 2025 than in 2024. I went hiking at three different hills, and I loved how grounding the experience was. Being close to the earth and surrounded by greenery felt especially calming when life became stressful. I definitely want to challenge myself with more difficult hikes in 2026. 

Although there are still a few items on my bucket list that remain unchecked, through all the experimenting I’ve done, I realized that horse riding remains the most satisfying activity for me, along with maintaining a gym routine to support more stable riding in the future. I do want to continue learning swimming, but finding a private and sharie-friendly pool nearby has been challenging. I’m still looking and will hopefully find the right one soon. 

2025 was the year I travelled the most. I visited France to see my brother, went on a Hat Yai trip with my cousin, which was another bucket list item checked off, and travelled to Switzerland, Italy, Da Nang, Frankfurt, and the Netherlands. I even spent the start of 2026 in Amsterdam. If you noticed, I shared a lot of travelogue posts this year. Although writing travelogues isn’t my strongest point, I made it a habit to document every single detail of each trip on my blog so I can remember the experiences and details of every country I’ve visited. 

That said, I’m still a little sad that I didn’t manage to tick off one personal bucket list item, which is solo travelling in Singapore. Hopefully, that will happen in 2026. 

I finally bought myself an iPad mini after eyeing it for a long time. I kept procrastinating, thinking I wouldn’t use it much. It turned out to be a lifesaver, especially when my old laptop completely stopped turning on. I relied heavily on my iPad before getting a new laptop. 

No regrets at all. If you’re still contemplating whether to get one, my honest suggestion is to just go for it. The iPad mini has also been a great travel companion, replacing the need to carry a heavy journal everywhere. I plan to use it even more next year. 

2025 was the year I tracked my finances more religiously compared to past years. Instead of being unaware of where my money went by the end of the year, I had a clear picture of my spending. I also shopped less. Even when shopping impulses kicked in, I listed the things I wanted and only made purchases if I still had enough balance at the end of the month for my wants, rather than checking out irresponsibly. 

Previously, I tracked my expenses in a physical journal, but switching to a digital tracker was a life-changer. It automatically calculates totals, and I can check my balance every time I log a transaction without having to do manual calculations. This is definitely a habit I will carry into 2026. 

WHAT'S ONE HABIT OR LESSON FROM 2025 THAT YOU'RE BRINGING WITH YOU INTO 2026?

Ammar was coming back home for a month, and it felt like such a waste if we did not take the chance to travel together as a complete family of seven. So, abah booked last-minute tickets to Vietnam, and we chose Da Nang, thinking it would be just enough for a short two-day trip during the Merdeka public holiday. So here it is, another slightly overdue travelogue from our time in Da Nang. 

We landed in Da Nang after a three-hour flight and headed straight to Ba Na Hills. Right from the entrance, one thing was very obvious. There were so many Korean tourists. Vietnam is clearly a favourite holiday destination for Koreans, and you can tell the country has adapted well to welcome them. 

One thing I really loved here at Ba Na Hills was how Muslim-friendly the place is. Even though Muslims are a minority in Vietnam, the facilities were surprisingly well thought out. The prayer room was clean, spacious, and especially comfortable for muslimah. There was also a halal buffet inside Ba Na Hills, which meant we could spend the whole day there without worrying about food or prayer times. Honestly, this was such a pleasant and impressive surprise. 

We took the cable car up, which once held the record as the world’s longest single-wire cable car, at over 5,700 metres. It connects visitors to the flower gardens, the famous Golden Bridge, and the French Village. The ride takes about 20 minutes, and the mountain views along the way are absolutely stunning. The record has since been beaten by the Phu Quoc cable car, which stretches around 7,000 metres.

To me, the flower gardens and the French Village are mostly photo spots, especially the gardens. They are undeniably pretty, but there is not much else to do there. Ba Na Hills does offer many games and attractions, though, and it reminded me a lot of Genting Highlands in Malaysia. But, we did not get to enjoy as many activities as we hoped. The rock-climbing attraction I was really looking forward to was closed for maintenance. I also wanted to try Journey to the Center of the Earth, a ride inspired by Jules Verne, but the queue was extremely long. The train only fits 14 people at a time, and there was only one running. With limited time, we decided to skip it and instead spent time on any available games - playing basketball, car racing, and dance machines. 

Later in the day, we planned to explore the French Village, but heavy rain started pouring. We ended up walking through the rain anyway, and my sneakers were completely soaked. To make things worse, the cable car stopped operating due to the weather, and left us stuck at the station for a while.

Once the rain finally stopped, I bought a cheap pair of local shoes that did not even fit properly. We desperately needed a hearty dinner to help lift the mood. We had steamboat at Karim Restaurant, a Muslim-friendly halal spot. Thankfully, that warm meal was at least comforting. 

The night wasn’t over yet. We went to watch the Dragon Bridge performance, where the dragon breathes water and fire while the bridge sparkles under LED lights, making the view extra spectacular. If you want to watch the water performance from the bridge, make sure to bring an umbrella or raincoat so you don’t get wet. There was also someone dressed as Sun Wukong casually strolling along the river, which was such a fun and unexpected sight. 

By the time we reached the hotel around 10 p.m., I was completely exhausted from the full schedule and went straight to sleep. Another small disappointment still remained, though. I did not get my Vietnamese coffee, even though I had been craving it since morning. 

The next morning, we had breakfast again at Karim Restaurant and tried the traditional Vietnamese noodle soup, pho, which was really delicious and definitely a must-try for anyone visiting Vietnam. I also ordered an iced coffee, just in case I didn’t get another chance to enjoy Vietnamese coffee later in the day, like what happened the day before. 

Our first stop was Linh Ung Pagoda, a popular photo spot with a panoramic view from the top of Chua Mountain. The drive up was beautiful, and I could not stop admiring the sea view along the way. 

On our way to Hoi An, we stopped by Han Market to pick up some Vietnamese coconut snacks for souvenirs. Coconut products are a big thing in Vietnam, so this felt like a must. The journey to Hoi An took about 45 minutes. 

Our first stop there was the Coconut Basket Boat experience. The boat here is really unique and round, and you won’t find anything like it anywhere else. We rode along the river in round basket boats while enjoying small performances along the way. Tips are expected here, so it is good to prepare some cash in advance. The coconut drink was incredibly fresh, and sipping it while listening to the performers sing Korean karaoke as we waited for our turn on the boat made the wait much less boring.

Next, we explored Hoi An Old Town. We visited old Chinese houses that have been passed down through generations and learned about the impact of the major floods in 2020. The town is full of narrow alleyways to wander through, and the Japanese Covered Bridge sits right at the centre. There were plenty of shops around, and I ended up shopping quite a lot. I honestly regretted not buying more. Linen and cotton shirts were especially tempting and much more affordable than elsewhere. I picked up a genuine leather belt, while Ammar and Nadiah bought real leather cardholders. I also brought home postcards, silk pants, and two pairs of bamboo socks. 

Finally, I got my long-craved and most beloved Vietnamese coconut coffee at Son Tra Marina. The café offers a beautiful sea view and is clearly designed as a photo spot with a Santorini-inspired vibe. The coffee itself was excellent and definitely something I am going to miss once I am back in Malaysia. 

Looking back, I really love Vietnam for how accommodating they are to tourists. I came here craving their local coffee, and now, coming back to Malaysia and writing this travelogue, I miss it even more. If you know of any cafés in Malaysia that serve authentic Vietnamese coffee, please do share them in the comments!