ainsoofiyah

Celebrating a birthday is a special way to honor another year of living and growing. But sometimes, one day just isn’t enough to fit in all the things we love. That’s why celebrating your birthday month has become a popular trend, and honestly, I get it! It’s a reason to treat yourself, enjoy those birthday promos brands send your way, try new things you've been wanting to do, and spend time with people who make you feel loved.​

Though my birthday has passed, I still enjoy romanticizing it by looking back at what I did throughout my special month. Here’s how I celebrated mine:

EARNED MY BASIC WALL COURSE CERTIFICATE

This has been on my bucket list since last year when I first tried climbing. When I first tried wall climbing, I immediately fell in love with this sport and knew I wanted to continue in the future. It took me a while to find the time and classes kept getting canceled, but during my birthday month, I finally did it and officially became a blue key holder. I’m now a certified climber, guys!​

ADDED A NEW PANDORA CHARM TO MY BRACELET

Your horse girl here had been eyeing this horseshoe charm for a while. I’ve been collecting Pandora charms to mark special occasions, and this birthday was the perfect reason to get one.

WROTE A LETTER TO MY PAST SELF

This one wasn’t entirely my idea; it was part of a company wellness activity. The theme that month was “Write a Letter to Yourself.” Since it happened to fall in my birthday month, I took it as a chance to celebrate myself and leave a note for the future me. It's a nice way to reflect on your life, to ground yourself, acknowledge your achievements, and embrace your emotional and vulnerable state. It’s a letter reminding you to forgive yourself for what you've been through and be proud of what you've accomplished.​

TOOK AS MANY POLAROID PHOTOS AS POSSIBLE

I wanted July to feel extra special. I wanted only good things to happen and made sure to record every beautiful moment with my Polaroid and write every day in my journal, especially in July. It was my way of romanticizing the little things and making sure I could look back on those happy memories.​

VISITED A BOOSTORE AND SPENT HOURS THERE

I usually read on my Kindle now because it’s light and travel-friendly, but my birthday month is an exception. It’s the one time I allow myself to buy physical books. There’s something comforting about hanging out in a bookstore, reading. The vibe, the silence, people minding their own business, the smell of coffee and books; the serene and quiet ambiance is what recharges me.

​HUNG OUT WITH PEOPLE I LOVE

​ I used my birthday as an excuse to reconnect and spend quality time with my favorite people; my best friends and family. Since I shared the birthday month with my grandma, I got to reconnect with my whole big family and celebrated together with the July babies. My cousins came for a sleepover. We chatted all night and caught up. Heartfelt conversations over coffee with my bestie recharged my soul, and I can't be thankful enough to have such good close friends around me.​

TRIED MUAY THAI FOR THE FIRST TIME

I’ve always been curious about Muay Thai and had it on my bucket list this year. When I found out one of my colleagues was a coach, I took it as a sign to finally try it. That was another goal checked off the list. Will I continue? Probably not, but I’m glad I gave it a shot.

PAMPERED MYSELF WITH A FACIAL AND BRIGHTENING LASER TREATMENT

​ I received a complimentary laser treatment from MyClinic for my birthday month, and since I’ve been going there regularly, I couldn’t say no. Their service and results never disappoint. Definitely a confidence booster!

READ BOOKS I LOVE

​ July reading month is when I carefully curated what I read. I bought new books specially to read this month, and I also took time to reread books I love and annotate short books from my TBR list. Some of the titles I enjoyed this month were;

• Letters to a Young Poet - Very meaningful life reflection from Rilke
• There Is a River in the Sky - My highlight of this month; truly enjoyable read, and I have posted my full review on my Instagram
• 1984 - Boy, this is a definite 5-star. Those who rated less, I’m judging you! The dystopian setting is so chilly yet captivating, and its message stays with you long after reading.
• The Beautiful Cassandra - Can’t skip Jane Austen books on my birthday month
• Yeonnam-dong’s Smiley Laundromat -  It was quite disappointing to me. I was most excited for this book; some say it’s tear-jerking, but to me, it's just a normal slice-of-life book interconnecting the lives of people in the Yeonnam-dong neighborhood through a laundromat.​

 

How about you, how do you celebrate your special month?

When I first learned about your passing, I thought it was a dream. It didn’t feel real. It couldn’t be real. I hoped it was someone else with the same name. But seeing everyone started posting and texting me about you, the truth finally hit me. You really are gone.   

Who would’ve thought I’d be visiting your hometown now that you’re no longer here? I took the day off to see your wife and offer some comfort. If learning about your death crushed me this much, I can’t imagine how your wife feels. I visited your grave. Standing there, the heavy truth finally sank in. The moment I poured water over your grave, my tears wouldn’t stop. You’re gone. Truly gone. I cried all the way back home, and the thought of never seeing you again broke me. 

Four years of knowing you. You were that one friend who understood me whenever I complained, the one who always knew what was on my mind without needing me to speak out, who understood every language I spoke. You were the one who cheered me up and helped me through everything. If you hadn't been my close friend, it wouldn't have been this painful. If you hadn't been a kind person, I would've cared less. If your death had been because of sickness, I would've prepared beforehand. But, who would’ve thought your life would end at just 30?

Death makes us reflect on what we’ve been chasing in this world, reminding us that nothing we gain here follows us to the next life. Death teaches us that life is short, to live fully and without regrets. Because regret is the prison of life. Death makes us ponder how we should live for the rest of our time. 

Days passed, but the heaviness stayed. I tried to act fine, to laugh and smile at work like nothing happened. My colleagues did the same. We all carried the same weight, but sharing smiles and laughs with each other somehow made the pain more bearable. Still, every road we once passed reminds me of your absence. I still can’t shake the memory of seeing you just days before you passed. The thought of it haunts me. If we had known your time was down to mere hours, would we have said anything differently? I wish we could have had one last chat, like we always did, one last moment of closure. I keep replaying all the kindness you showed me and realizing how little I did in return. But that’s the thing about death; it gives no warning. It comes quietly, as it eventually will for all of us. ​ 

I pray that Allah forgives your sins and shortcomings and rewards you for all the good you shared with others. May He grant strength and patience to your wife, family, and everyone who loved you, and may they find peace and comfort in this test.

Your forever grateful friend.