My letter to myself on my 25th birthday

It's a week late, but it's okay since I celebrate my birthday the whole month anyway.

Dear Ain,

I read your letter from 2019, and I still remember the feeling when you wrote that letter. You had been on quite a journey the past year. I remember you cried for hours till tears dried, and your throat hurt, and when you woke up from your sleep, you continued crying. And you just sat there beside your bed, just in a daze at that stormy situation surrounding you.

I've seen you have everything you wanted. I've also seen you losing it all, perhaps in a cruel way. You learned who's really there for you when you're at your worst. I know life has been challenging for you for the past year. Honestly, Ain, not really proud of how you handled it back then, but I know I'm no better. So, Ain, thank you for staying alive. I've seen you plunged into a state of despair, but Ain, thank you for hanging on to that bit of faith.

I just want to tell you the worst has passed, and I'm doing better now. Stop worrying too much. You deserve to be smiling after all the things you've been through. You deserve all the good things in your life. I hope you realize that you're pretty much privileged compared to other people out there without denying all the hardship you've gone through because you know it too, that it could've been worse. I don't even want to imagine it. I wish you to stop resenting people around you. Forgive them for your own sake. So that you can be free and go on living your life. It won't be easy, it will feel unjust, but do you want to live as a victim forever?  

Ain of 2021 has been living her life to the fullest. Ain of 2021 has found her place just as she imagined one year ago. Ain of 2021 won't lose track of what's crucial and worth making time for. All thanks to you for not giving up, for always telling Ain of 2020 you loved her regardless of everything, and that she's worth it. So, stop worrying, you can now be happy as much as you want.

Happy Birthday,

Me.